10 small ways Facebook’s live stream could cause big issues

Sometimes I think that Facebook really oversimplifies the human condition, and underestimates the complications of our daily relationships.

I don’t want to be a hater. I really don’t. But looking at my “mini-twitter” this morning, on the right-hand side of my Facebook page, the following list just popped into my head.

Herewith: 10 small ways Facebook’s live stream could cause big issues (in no particular order).

1. Heartbreak

Everyone who’s ever had a crush will know that kind of craziness that comes over you, that stage when you would give anything to know what he or she is doing at any given time. Now you can! But wait, there’s more. Say he or she is being very obviously flirty with someone else: liking all their statuses, leaving creepy little love notes on their photos (not unlike the ones you’ve been leaving on their own). Sucks to be you.

2. Jealousy

But what if you’re already with the person? And you see them being all sweet and nice to someone else? If you are a calm and level-headed individual you might be able to completely ignore this behaviour, but if you have even a single jealous bone in your body… drama.

3. Cheating

It goes without saying, but I’m going to say it anyway. If you’re cheating, this new interface is going to get you found out. Your SO can see everything you post to other people, including the other girlfriend who she doesn’t know. Be warned.

4. Betrayal

Human relationships are complicated. Sometimes you break up with a lover or a friend. Your best friends must of course at least pretend to be totally on your side. It’s part of their duty. But with the live stream you’ll be able to see every time they interact with your ex. They’d better not offer any words of comfort if they know what’s good for them!

5. Slacking

It’s known fondly as WABbing, that time of the day when you know you have work to do but you just can’t face it and so engage in work avoiding behaviour such as, say, blogging. Or going on Facebook. But do you have colleagues on Facebook? Is your boss on Facebook? Is a friend of yours friends with one of your colleagues?

You can see how this could get messy.

6. Beliefs

Our friendships are usually also quite diverse. I, for example, have everything from staunch atheists to the dedicated religious people on my feed. I have communists, democrats and republicans. What happens when one group sees what I comment to the other? You don’t need much imagination to see how this could spiral out of control.*

7. Surprise!

You’d better not try to plan any kind of surprise via Facebook. Chances were you wouldn’t do so intentionally. But you might slip with something along the lines of “See you Saturday” to someone who would be at a surprise party, or “I got Kyle’s present when I was at Incredible Corruption yesterday,” without thinking. Better be careful, Kyle is watching.

8. We don’t like you anymore

Now you also get to see just how little you’re needed in your group of friends. You can bare witness to every little discussion or private joke they have with each other. Again, if you’re not the jealous type I’m sure you’ll be perfectly fine with this. I’m sure.

9. Facebook envy

Next time you’re alone at home on Friday night, you get to be tortured in real time by all the marvelous fun everyone else is having. Sure, you could just not open Facebook. So why don’t you? Go on, ignore it. I challenge you.

10. The world is watching, and judging

The flip side of all of the above is that you, personally, have to be very aware of what you get up to on Facebook. Have friends that don’t approve of your wild ways? Have aspects of yourself you’re not proud of? Better make sure you stop being yourself on Facebook at once.  Because they’re going to see when you comment on Bieber’s Fan Page with how much you love him, and when you join the group of local Twilight fans.

Of course you could see all these things before, but it would require checking hundreds of individual profile pages and honestly, who ever visits a profile page anymore?

I’m sure I haven’t covered everything. Please comment with any more you can think of!

(And if you want to remove the sidebar I hear there are a few ways of doing it. I don’t take responsibility for whether these work/are safe though, so be cautious: SumTips, QuickWebTips, EnBeeOne3)

*Thanks go to Richard (@Hyldrian) for this suggestion